The Quatchi Rap

All you motherfuckers better sit ‘er down and watch, see,
‘Cause DAMN! here comes a rap about Olympic mascot Quatchi!
His powder-blue ear muffs pimp him out like Liberace;
he blazes down the rink like that shit is a hibachi!

Forget the barbecue, let’s get back to the Sasquatch, he
bangs so many chicks that you need a Fibonacci
Sequence to keep track: 2, 3, 5, 8 – this shit’s debauch’ry!
He’s had his way with women from Vancouver to Karachi!

But after the Olympics there’ll be no more love for Quatchi,
he’ll hang out in the park with some old dudes playing bocce,
he’ll fall back into drugs, and his earmuffs will grow splotchy,
he’ll reminisce about the days before his fur turned blotchy.

But at least he’s! Not VANOC, eh! Those dudes are Nazis!

p.s. Watch "The Quatchi Rap - The Video!" here.


Zachariah Wells said...

I'm disappointed that there's no mention of Chachi in this rap.

Vesper de Vil said...

Hilarious!!! I will never see Quatchi in the same way again.

Rob Taylor said...

Perhaps you can cover it and add a line about Chachi at the beginning...

Glad you liked it, Kristen!