a perfect storm

For those of you who weren't lucky enough to be on The Malahat Review's newsletter mailing list, which experienced a rather spectacular reply-all unsubscribe email storm today, I have compiled a summary in the form of a found poem. A few well-known writers chipped in by composing some of the individual lines, but for their sakes I will keep their identities secret.

BEHOLD, THE INTERNET!

- A found poem sourced from the Malahat Review's mailing list email storm of 2014

Hi, please remove me from the mailing list. 

Please remove me too.

I don't understand why it came to me.

this is the fourth email ive rec'd from this list

Somethings up. I'm getting these notices too.

Same here—I’m getting requests to be removed from the Malahat list.

These emails are going to everyone on the list...

This could get very messy very quickly.

You can remove me.

I am also getting unsolicited information about this

People, we’re all getting all the e-mails

Me too. I don’t know why.

I have also received several emails from people wishing to be off the list. Please remove my name from the list as well. Thank you.

Please stop replying to the group address. It goes to everyone on the list.

Please can you fix this bug?

This probably shouldn't be there!

Hi strangers! I'm in the same boat. Maybe this is the start of a beautiful new friendship! Lalalalalaaaaaa!

I just received an email from...

I have no idea why these e-mails are reaching my box.  Please remove me from the list if you are able to do this.  

Please fix this shit. Hundreds of people are getting copied.

Please, please no more: ALL of your emails go to EVERYONE on this listserv.

Let's all stop hitting Reply All, please! This will go on all night!

I've also received this message.

Attached please find a photo of my cat. Please send me photos of your cats.

Stop emailing. Stop replying. 

Please do remove me from all Malahat spam lists. 

Again: please don't reply to the mailing list address. Thanks.

I assume my request to be removed from this list has also cluttered up many in-boxes. And that this one will also.

LOOK! A CRAB!

Yeah please remove me too y'all